Why people behave the way they do?

We come across different people in our daily interactions and find that some people have personalities that are pleasant and some unpleasant. This finding is always from our point of view. When we discuss this with our friends, they may not agree with our views all the time. What I find unacceptable, may be acceptable to my friend.  Other friends may agree with me. So who is right?

What are their motives?

To understand people’s behaviour we need to understand what drives them. What motivates them to behave the way they do? They have grown used to a way of thinking and feeling, and this drives the way they conduct themselves.

Here is an example of a view of work:

If their belief (thinking) is that hard work pays off in terms of monetary gains, career advancement, and a good life, they work hard to achieve such rewards. They feel satisfied when they have worked hard and obtain the expected rewards that they are aiming for. When they get it, they feel good about themselves.  There is thinking – behaving – feeling. When they feel good, they are motivated to continue to work hard and are rewarded. This cycle continues.

If their hard work does not pay off over a long period of time, they may start to feel disappointed. At this point they may double their work effort, or give up (behave).  If after doubling their efforts they still fail, they feel more disappointed, demotivated, and grow more depressed. They may give up and continue to be depressed. This cycle continues in a downward spiral until they do something else to break this cycle or get help from others.

Here is another example of a different view of work:

Others may believe that they should work smart, not work hard (thinking). If they achieve success early on through working smart they feel good about themselves and continue to do so.  If they do not succeed, they may change their way of working smart and try different ways they know. They continue until they get what they want. They are driven and motivated to keep trying.